As we come to the end of the year many people start to think about failed goals and forgotten resolutions. With that come some dangerous questions. For example, recently a friend failed to reach her weight loss goal. She asked me, “Why am I such a loser?”

Which is also the variation of other dangerous questions such as:

Why am I so unlucky?

What did I do to deserve this?

Why am I so pathetic?

Why do I consider them dangerous? Because the answers won’t solve anything. Thinking of all the reasons why you’re a loser or unlucky or pathetic 1) won’t help you reach your goal 2) learn from the experience 3) make you feel any better. Questions that belittle you or take life out of your control will only have you spiraling into even more dark thoughts and depression.

Instead, ask yourself powerful questions. I have two that have helped me through frustrating failures:

What is the problem?

How can I fix it?

Your mind likes to solve problems, feed it with questions you really want the answer to.

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