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Artists are Weird, but Writers are Crazy: Cultivate Your Own Garden

Please note that this series is written in fun. If you don’t like hints of sarcasm and hyperbole don’t read this series. If you find the title offensive, don’t read this series. However, if you understand that this is a great time to be a writer of fiction and feel like a lone happy person in a tsunami of fear, read on.

I’ve been told I’ll never be a top blogger because I’m not angry enough. I don’t call writers idiots, or stupid. I don’t say agents are a**holes or editors are morons. Nope, and I’m not going to.  I’m too happy. I don’t have time to deal with other people’s venom.

I don’t care about being popular. If a couple of people can get ideas and a few chuckles from what I’ve written that’s fine with me. I don’t have time for comments (mostly spam anyway) and those who really want to talk to me know how. So what does that have to do with “Writers are Crazy”?

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Artists are Weird, but Writers are Crazy: Forget Everybody

Please note that this series is written in fun. If you don’t like hints of sarcasm and hyperbole don’t read this series. If you find the title offensive, don’t read this series. However, if you understand that this is a great time to be a writer of fiction and feel like a lone happy person in a tsunami of fear, read on.

Two words I despise, especially in publishing, are ‘Everybody’ and ‘Nobody’.

Everybody is on Facebook.

Everybody has an iPhone (ipod, iPad etc…)

Everybody drives a car.

Nobody knows about eating a banana wrapped in rice.

Nobody knows what a dumpling is.

Nobody listens to (watches, reads, enjoys) that anymore.

Crazy Lesson #6

Artists believe in breaking rules, Writers believe in keeping rules.

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Artists are Weird, but Writers are Crazy: The Dark Side

Please note that this series is written in fun. If you don’t like hints of sarcasm and hyperbole don’t read this series. If you find the title offensive, don’t read this series. However, if you understand that this is a great time to be a writer of fiction and feel like a lone happy person in a tsunami of fear, read on.

“Every time you think you’ve been screwed by publishers in every possible way, you meet one who has read the Kama Sutra.” Cathy Crimmins

Writers have opinions—especially about other writers.  Some like Michael Stackpole  in his various posts think of them as “house slaves”,  Sarah Hoyt compares them to abused wives as in the post “He Beats Me But He’s My Publisher”  while Dean Wesley Smith just think they’re stupid (but he’s doing his best to help).

You already know what I think. I think writers are crazy. And in this group, some seem to be confusing themselves with ladies of the night.

“Writing is like prostitution. First you do it for the love of it, then you do it for a few friends, and finally you do it for the money.” Moliere

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Artists are Weird, but Writers are Crazy: Tortoise versus Hare

Please note that this series is written in fun. If you don’t like hints of sarcasm and hyperbole don’t read this series. If you find the title offensive, don’t read this series. However, if you understand that this is a great time to be a writer of fiction and feel like a lone happy person in a tsunami of fear, read on.

In a previous post I described how many writers have been brainwashed into thinking that the pace in which they produce their work matters. Today I’ll talk about a different type of pace: Sales! Many writers have been brainwashed into thinking that fast sales mean a book is good, while slow sales mean a books bad. So:

Crazy Lesson #4

Artists create and sell at their own pace. Writers believe they have to write slow, but sell fast.

Velocity is a publishing buzz word and a critical component in the traditional publishing model, which has to deal with limited shelf space in brick and mortar stores. Velocity sales equal books that sell fast within the first several weeks. Selling fast means a book has a chance to hit a bestseller’s list (which focuses on the short term life of a book, not the long term), or helps convince a book store to keep a particular title stocked. In traditional publishing, fast sales have been translated to mean that a book is alive and worthy of attention and support; slows sales mean that a book will be pulled from the shelves and remaindered or destroyed and, worst yet, the author is dropped if they produce too many slow selling books.

In traditional publishing, books are looked at as perishable products like milk and yogurt, with sell by dates. This thinking forced authors to believe that their books could spoil if they didn’t sell at a certain pace.

Gone are the days when an author could grow their audience and skill. Gone are stories of authors like Jack Higgins who wrote twenty-some books before hitting it big with The Eagle Has Landed or Nora Roberts who wrote nearly 60 romance novels over 10 years before hitting the New York Times list.

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Artists are Weird, but Writers are Crazy: Ready–Fire–Aim!

Please note that this series is written in fun. If you don’t like hints of sarcasm and hyperbole don’t read this. If you find the title offensive, don’t read this. However, if you understand that this is a great time to be a writer of fiction and feel like a lone happy person in a tsunami of fear, read on.

Are you sitting on the fence about an idea you want to pursue? Then this post is for you.

I recently had a conversation with a fellow writer that went something like this:

“Hey Dara, I’ve got a great idea for a new book.” (Precedes to tell me the idea)

“Wonderful,” I say knowing that ideas, like dust, are everywhere. “Get started.”

“I can’t. There’s a problem.”

“What? Is your system down? Then use a pen and paper or talk into a recorder or…”

“No, it’s not that. It’s so different from what I usually write.”

“So?” I say. “Write it anyway.”

“I’m under contract to write my usual work.”

“Write it on the side.”

“I’m not sure my agent will like it. She says that I should focus on writing (current trend).”

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